Mom and Dad,
Thank you so much for these emails and for the call. I am so sorry that I talked so much, I kind of monopolized the conversation...! But I wanted to let you konw how much it helped me! More than feeling alone, I just feel like I am not progressing. I feel like I should be learning more, like I should have a stronger testimony, like I should have a better relationship with the Lord, like I should be more mature and charitable etc etc. I feel like I am in a way being let down by my mission in a way, as bad as that sounds. I feel like I am not having those intense spiritual expiences and/or miracles that I thought I would be having. It wasn't until recently/the phone call that I understood it. This is part of the journey that I have to go on- I always want proof and evidence first but the Lord will only give that to you (ie in the form of miracles) if you trust Him first and come to Him in humility. I have been having a hard time looking for miracles in my daily life like answers to my prayers because of the way I think and the kind of education I recieved- I have always been very wary of the "placibo affect"- I dont want to invent or creat answers and or miracles just because that is what my mind wants to do. Faith is a very very hard concept for me and I dont really know why. All i do know is that i over think things too much! haha So I will continue to press forward as always, this time though I will try to not over think, over analyze and be too critical on myself. It is sort of against my nature to not do that and to not worry but when introspection becomes worry it doesnt do you any good. It is hard to put into practice but not worrying about yourself and only focusing on others is how the Lord shapes us. It is sort of counter intuitive but the most growth comes from when you are not trying to improve yourself but to improve others.... So I will continue to work on my testimony and really try to quiet (with the Lord's help) all those nagging doubts that my mind egged on by Satan, I guess, concocts up on a daily basis...
Sorry it was so short! I will get back into the habit of writing more.
Same as last week but I dont know who gets my emails every week....
PS
-Sarah: I sent you a letter last week to your home because I wasn't sure when you were getting home and I wanted to be on the safe side...
-Cassi: I sent you a letter last week to MY home because I wasn't sure when you were getting home and I wanted to be on the safe side... and I still dont have your home address
-Peter: I sent you a letter last week to your home because I wasn't sure when you were getting home and I wanted to be on the safe side... I heard you were turning in your papers in a week and that you went to prom with mallory! Write me soon! before you go to the MTC! Also (especially if you are called stateside/have access to a car) bring an old iPod with ONLY church-hymns and MOST motab (no musicals/movie soundtracks by them)/old appropriate classical music on it AND bring a headphone to headphone adapter. Most of our cars at least, and probably yours too becuase the church likes to buy new cars and then resell them... it is a wayyyyyyyy better way to go than CDs...
-Ben: I sent you a letter last week to your home because I wasn't sure when you were getting home and I wanted to be on the safe side...
-Kenzie: are you going on a mission? are you going to write me back? haha
-Sarah: I sent you a letter last week to your home because I wasn't sure when you were getting home and I wanted to be on the safe side...
-Cassi: I sent you a letter last week to MY home because I wasn't sure when you were getting home and I wanted to be on the safe side... and I still dont have your home address
-Peter: I sent you a letter last week to your home because I wasn't sure when you were getting home and I wanted to be on the safe side... I heard you were turning in your papers in a week and that you went to prom with mallory! Write me soon! before you go to the MTC! Also (especially if you are called stateside/have access to a car) bring an old iPod with ONLY church-hymns and MOST motab (no musicals/movie soundtracks by them)/old appropriate classical music on it AND bring a headphone to headphone adapter. Most of our cars at least, and probably yours too becuase the church likes to buy new cars and then resell them... it is a wayyyyyyyy better way to go than CDs...
-Ben: I sent you a letter last week to your home because I wasn't sure when you were getting home and I wanted to be on the safe side...
-Kenzie: are you going on a mission? are you going to write me back? haha
--
Love!
Elder Myers
